torsdag, 18. maj 2006, 23:19

Her er lidt underholdning:

Monster Invasion - spil
Den nye Ford reklame - film
Bravia reklamen - og hvordan den blev lavet
Anderledes fodboldspil

Har I nogle gode links som jeg kan se?


torsdag, 18. maj 2006, 23:27

Hvis du er til biler og race



torsdag, 18. maj 2006, 23:29

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies
the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people
faster than Death can process them.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his
closet for Chuck Norris.

Jawbreakers were originally in the shape of Chuck Norris'

Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross.
Just never his own.

Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.

Chuck Norris thought up some of the funniest Chuck Norris
facts ever, but he hasn't submitted them to the site
because he doesn't believe in any form of submission.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't
see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in
all 50 states in order to legally wear pants.

Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his testicles, because
hair does not grow on steel.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

When Chuck Norris exercises, the machine gets stronger.

Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat because she was
saving it for Chuck Norris.

It is impossible to be raped by Chuck Norris because that
would mean you did not want it to happen.

Pee Wee Herman got arrested for masturbating in public. The
same day, Chuck Norris got an award for masturbating in

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms
and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready
to attack.

Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It
helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him
holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card,
a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game

If you see Chuck Norris crying he will grant you a wish, if
your wish is dying.

Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was
the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show
consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting
for the wheel to stop.

Chuck Norris crossed the road. Nobody has ever dared
question his motives.

They say that lightning never strikes the same place twice.

Niether does Chuck Norris. He doesn't have to.

Chuck Norris is allowed to talk about Fight Club.

Jeeves asks Chuck Norris.

When driving in his SUV, Chuck Norris always swerves out of
the way if a squirrel is in the road. Not because he finds
their antics amusing, but because it gives him a chance to
run over pedestrians.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck
Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of
Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't
get up the courage to tell him.

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now
The Islands.

Chuck Norris has to sort his laundry into three loads:
darks, whites, and bloodstains.

Water boils faster when Chuck Norris watches it.

Chuck Norris has only one hand: the upper hand.

The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they
have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order
are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until
he gets the information he wants.

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of
germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the
fuck he wants.

If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Most men are okay with their wives fantasizing about Chuck
Norris during sex, because they are doing the same thing.

Chuck Norris clogs the toilet even when he pisses.

Chuck Norris can speak braille.

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He
spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

Chuck Norris refers to himself in fourth person.

One time in an airport a guy accidently called Chuck Norris
"Chick Norris". He explained it was an honest mistake and
apologized profusely. Chuck accepted his apology and
politely signed an autograph. Nine months later, the guy's
wife gave birth to a bearded baby. The guy knew exactly
what had happened, and blames nobody but himself.

A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck
replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The
mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly
the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a
fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

Similar to a Russian Nesting Doll, if you were to break
Chuck Norris open you would find another Chuck Norris
inside, only smaller and angrier.


torsdag, 18. maj 2006, 23:30

...og resten

Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to
April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is currently in a legal battle with the makers
of Bubble Tape. Norris claims "6 Feet of Fun" is actually
the trademark for his penis.

At birth, Chuck Norris came out feet first so he could
roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers
Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris

Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.

Whenever someone is constipated, doctors send them to Chuck
Norris so he can scare the shit out of them.

Chuck Norris, Vin Diesel and Arnold Schwarzenegger have all
died and are in Heaven. Each of them hope to occupy the
seat next to God. God asks Vin Diesel why he thinks he
should have the seat and Vin replies, "I believe... I
should have the seat because of the virtuosity in my
toughness and pride." Arnie says, "I believe... that I
should be the one sitting next to you because of all my
achievements." God then turns to Chuck Norris, who replies
with, "I believe... you are sitting in my seat."

Chuck Norris ends every relationship with "It's not me,
it's you".

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's

Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks

Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows
where you will die.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung
like Chuck Norris

If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels
like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's
fucking beef.

Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know when Chuck
Norris is going to kill you.

Chuck Norris' cowboy boots are made from real cowboys.

We all know the magic word is please. As in the sentence,
"Please don't kill me." Too bad Chuck Norris doesn't
believe in magic.

Geico saved 15% by switching to Chuck Norris.

In order to survive a nuclear attack, you must remember to
stop, drop, and be Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once went on Celebrity Jeopardy and answered,
"Who is Chuck Norris?" to every question. It was the first
and only time in Jeopardy history that a contestant
answered every single question right.

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is
for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning,
that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be
handicapped if you park there.

Chuck Norris realized that if you change the "d" in "wand"
to a "g", the Harry Potter books become a whole lot more

As a child, Chuck Norris played Hungry Hungry Hippos with
real hippos.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked Bruce Lee, breaking him
in half. The result was Jet Li and Jackie Chan.

The phrase "Made by Chuck Norris" is imprinted beneath the
surface of China.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself... The only
thing fear has to fear is Chuck Norris.

If at first you don't succeed, you are obviously not Chuck

Jesus owns and wears a bracelet that reads, "WWCND?"

Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop

Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse
kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been
recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever

Chuck Norris never gets brain freeze. Slurpees know when to
back the fuck off.

Chuck Norris once survived a suicide bombing. He was the

The most effective form of suicide known to man is to type
"Chuck Norris" into Google and hit "I'm Feeling Lucky!".

Switzerland isn't really neutral. They just haven't figured
out what side Chuck Norris is on yet.

When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you
how many seconds you have left to live.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good
looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after
the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the
devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who
appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should
have seen it coming. They now play poker every second
Wednesday of the month.

Chuck Norris only uses one chopstick.

Chuck Norris got in touch with his feminine side, and
promptly got her pregnant.

The only reason Chuck Norris didn't win an Oscar for his
performance in "Sidekicks" is because nobody in their right
mind would willingly give Chuck Norris a blunt metal
object. That's just suicide.

Objects in Chuck Norris's rear-view mirror appear at their
correct distances.

Chuck Norris doesn't give Christmas presents. If you live
to see Christmas, that is your Christmas present from

Chuck Norris once killed 5 people in less than a second.
The only thing he said after this incident was, "Damn it,
when Chuck Norris doesn't want Girl Scout cookies, Chuck
Norris doesn't want Girl Scout cookies."

When Chuck Norris answers the phone, he just says "Go".
This is not permission for you to begin speaking, it is
your cue to start running for your life.

Chuck Norris was sending an email one day, when he realized
that it would be faster to run.

Chuck Norris' sperm can penetrate 13 condoms, the birth
control pill, a brick wall, and the 1975 Pittsburgh
Steelers offensive line in order to impregnate a woman.

The only reason the Energizer Bunny keeps going and going
is because it knows Chuck Norris is after it.

Chuck Norris always gets blackjack. Even when he's playing

Little kids enjoy lighting ants on fire with magnifying
glasses. Chuck Norris enjoys lighting little kids on fire
with ants. Scientists have yet to find out how this feat is

If you try to introduce your mother to Chuck Norris, she'll
introduce you to your biological father.

When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher
assigned an essay: "What is Courage?" Chuck Norris received
an "A+" for writing only the words "Chuck Norris" and
promptly turning in the paper.

Chuck Norris doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says,

Chuck Norris doesn't understand why you should consult your
doctor if your erection lasts for more than 4 hours. His
erections have been known to last for up to 15 days.

Chuck Norris doesn't have a bank account. He just tells the
bank how much he needs.

Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate
classes, just so he can "accidentally" beat the **** out of
little kids.




Dette indlæg er blevet redigeret 2 gange, senest redigeret af "Lecter" (18.05.2006, 23:38)


fredag, 19. maj 2006, 07:03

Jeg tror ham der keder sig mest var ham der lavede den her tråd :P

... Tjekker lige linksne :D


fredag, 19. maj 2006, 07:12

Her bruger jeg meget af min "keder-mig-tid":



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